Julia B. Buxton's Haunted Bridge

Having crossed its span over 18 million times in my life and being an amateur paranormal investigator, I can say with virtual certainty that the Julia B. Buxton Bridge is haunted by one or more evil spirits. There is no better explanation for the inordinately high number of breakdowns and accidents that I have witnessed on that bridge over my 45 years of driving. How else can one explain the depressing feeling that grips you as you cross the mighty Connecticut?

The cursed bridge connects the sleepy bedroom community of Agawam, Massachusetts to the bustling burg of Springfield. I suppose that part of the gloom could be due to the sad prospect of leaving Agawam behind as you travel to your significantly less charming destination. How then, do you explain the violent rage that threatens to explode from your chest as you cross westbound, back to our beloved hometown? For those of us unlucky enough to travel to or from from Agawam on a daily basis, the soul-sucking crawl over the bridge is an expedition fraught with peril. I have a theory that Julia herself is haunting the bridge because everyone calls it the South End Bridge instead.

Many is the time that I have had the feeling that someone, or some thing, wants me to swerve from the line of cars patiently waiting in the right lane to slam into the car cruising blithely down the left lane. Something wants me to force the car of that very important personage (who is bypassing the entire backup in order to dive onto the off-ramp at the last second) into the guard rail or (hopefully) over it to land upside-down on the other side. I’m able to resist only by realizing that the VIP who deserves to get home before all of the rest of us might be a fellow citizen of Agawam. Godspeed, whoever you are. Maybe you should call ahead for a police escort. We could all stop our cars, and get out and kneel with our foreheads on the pavement as you pass us, if that would help.

I think we need a team of mediums, shamans, and clergy to come to Agawam and speak to whatever entities are responsible for causing cars to run out of gas or break down smack dab in the exact middle of the bridge. Maybe they could convince the spirit or spirits to at least wait until reaching the rotary to cripple the car. It’s at least a weekly occurrence that some poor soul is stuck waiting for a tow while two lanes of angry motorists alternately glare angrily at each other and at the victim of some ghost’s cruel joke.

The traffic situation at the evening rush hour is getting worse. Just getting onto the bridge is grueling whatever direction you’re coming from. Even after you successfully escape from the bridge, you are in danger of being struck waiting to enter the rotary. My cars have been rear-ended twice (and my wife’s once) while waiting for cars to pass. Apparently, the possessed driver (assumedly, not an evil spirit themself) behind us has decided to go ahead and enter the rotary while looking out their right ear. The evil spirits must haunt that off-ramp too.

Perhaps it’s time for a letter writing campaign to get something done about this dire situation. Maybe the Governor and the Massachusetts Highway Department would be swayed if they knew about the dangerous poltergeists and other supernatural phenomenon that we are experiencing way out west. Granted, an exorcism may be cheaper, but a new bridge just might do the trick too. Let’s get going on it. I want to see it completed before I cross that bridge one last time.